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The Summer Blues
 

Healing Heart

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Joined: 2014-10-10 Posts: 701
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I remember days when my son was younger when he hated walks, hated sunshine (well he still hates that), didn’t want to be outdoors, hated the sound of cars passing by, birds chirping, the wind on his face… it was like being in summer confinement and it was horrible.  I seen another mom post on social media the other day about her child being just like mine used to be and wanted to tell her that it likely will get better with time, but then I felt like that wasn’t what she needed to hear right now, she needs comfort now, not comfort and relief in 2-3 more years… how do you make parents who are following in your footsteps feel better about where they are right now when you’ve been there yourself years ago?

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Everyday Holds the Possibility of a Miracle

06 June 2017 12:32 PM # 1

Tetraspecial

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Joined: 2016-04-05 Posts: 16
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Hi there

I had this situation just recently.  We had a get together for my son’s very rare genetic condition.  There are only a dozen or so children affected in the UK, and the majority of us met up.  It was a wonderful affair, though emotional!

My son is 4 and a half so we have ‘come out the other side’ so to speak, of the really gruelling, heart-wrenching feelings of despair, uncertainty and unknowns.  Whereas, a couple of the families were newcomers, with babies under 12 months, and they were raw with emotion.  I remembered back to when my son was this age, and tried to recount what I would have liked to hear.

I told them that mums with older children had told me at the time of my son’s diagnosis, two things that meant nothing to me then, but have resonated with me ever since:

‘Things do, and will, get easier’. 
‘Our children have so much love to give and parenting them is so rich and rewarding’

Both of these things I have learned to be truer than I could possibly have imagined.  I told the mums that I hoped they believed these things better than I had done, when I was in their shoes.

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Mum to a genetically enhanced superhero…
Amateur Firefly blogger…
Embracing this scary and wonderful special needs journey…

09 June 2017 12:56 PM # 2

Kerry-Ann Fender

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Joined: 2015-06-26 Posts: 21
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I find it really difficult to know what to say. People’s circumstances vary so much, and when someone is demonstrating feelings that are raw it can make you afraid that any response you make may inadvertently upset them more.

Even if you can’t give practical advice that will help them in the short term, perhaps just letting someone know that they’ve been seen, and heard, may help them to feel less alone. Perhaps acknowledge their feelings, and that such feelings are natural, that you once experienced them too.
It’s a bit of a tact minefield, isn’t it?

12 June 2017 04:14 PM # 3

Healing Heart

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Joined: 2014-10-10 Posts: 701
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Tetraspecial - 06 June 2017 12:32 PM

Hi there

I had this situation just recently.  We had a get together for my son’s very rare genetic condition.  There are only a dozen or so children affected in the UK, and the majority of us met up.  It was a wonderful affair, though emotional!

My son is 4 and a half so we have ‘come out the other side’ so to speak, of the really gruelling, heart-wrenching feelings of despair, uncertainty and unknowns.  Whereas, a couple of the families were newcomers, with babies under 12 months, and they were raw with emotion.  I remembered back to when my son was this age, and tried to recount what I would have liked to hear.

I told them that mums with older children had told me at the time of my son’s diagnosis, two things that meant nothing to me then, but have resonated with me ever since:

‘Things do, and will, get easier’. 
‘Our children have so much love to give and parenting them is so rich and rewarding’

Both of these things I have learned to be truer than I could possibly have imagined.  I told the mums that I hoped they believed these things better than I had done, when I was in their shoes.

Someone told me time heals all wounds… yet I still feel quite wounded years later.  I think there is a part of special needs parenting that never comes with complete healing.  Such a challenge though to sometimes offer the perfect words of wisdom for those following in our footsteps. 

 

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Everyday Holds the Possibility of a Miracle

31 July 2017 08:14 PM # 4

Angelyn

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Joined: 2015-04-27 Posts: 28
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Just by listening, praying, encouraging!

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Angelyn

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