Okay, okay, father’s day was yesterday and most people have already moved on.
But we’re not letting this one go just yet because special needs dads need an extra mention. They get overlooked a lot – maybe because they want to be a strong, silent and dependable rock for their family.
It might be an outdated concept but men still feel pressure to be the bread-winner, leader and figurehead of a family. Right or wrong, the pressure comes from outside the home and inside their own heads. It’s a difficult role to play in any family but more so in a family that needs extra support, where the pressure asks them to stay strong and stoic in the faces of unimaginable stress and heartache. That’s real pressure, and it must be unbearable.
The particularly unhelpful quirk of our society remains that it’s more acceptable for women to openly display their emotions. And it’s definitely a societal thing - no male is born with the instinct to bottle up their feelings, it’s a value subconsciously absorbed from the world around us. Women don’t feel that pressure so much (society applies pressures in other areas instead – appearance, femininity etc) so those women more willing to open up and share their feelings are more likely to attract the compassion and support of others, because she seems to need it while the quieter guy in the corner seems to be doing okay.
But it’s not all doom and gloom. Being a dad to a kid with a disability or special needs has its benefits too – it makes you appreciate special moments and milestones others take for granted, you’ll learn a lot about yourself and the people around you, and it shows you what unconditional love really means.
So let’s make a fuss of those dads and their special moments.
We asked some mums…
If a venue improved its changing facilities, would you be more likely to visit it with your disabled child?