When I watch him sleep I can't believe he is 6 years old.

Time passed so quick, too quick.  

Yet it feels like a lifetime of prayers and tears had gone by since his birth. 

I was just so glad he's alive after being born at 29 weeks in a foreign country, it felt like things can only get better.

It did get better, a lot of mountains in between but it did get better. 

We didn't know what periventricular leukomalacia was and we really didn't want to know.

Our ignorance was a blessing.

The best advice I ever got was from a doctor that said: 'don't Google it, the brain is a wonderful thing and every child is different'.

We never treated Diwan like he was not normal (what a strange word: normal. Some special needs children are more normal than normal children are normal.  Let's use typical). 

We never treated Diwan as if he was not typical.  

After all being our first born, he was typical to us!

As Nick Vujicic, born without arms or legs, says in his book Unstoppable:

"I had no idea that my body wasn't the standard issue.  I thought people stared at me because I was adorable."

I wanted that for Diwan, still do! 

But for other people Diwan is different.  

I can see some trying hard not to ask. 

Others just goes for it, not minding the rudeness, nor the little boy with big blue eyes listening to every word.  

There are friends that don't know what to say and stop staying anything at all.  

I somehow found peace when I started thinking about it.

Will someone really understand if their children meets all the developmental milestones?

If they never have to grief the child they believed they will have?  

If they never have to pray quietly for their child as he cries of pain during physiotherapy?

Never hold their sleeping child thinking that although the world doesn't think you are perfect, I do.

They won't understand.

But they will also not know the joy of seeing your child, that was not supposed to walk, give their first step.  

The joy of your child running in a race and although coming last, he is smiling all the way with the whole crowd cheering him on.

They will never know how it feels to celebrate all the small accomplishments with a party as everyone of them is a miracle in itself.

I watch him sleep.

In two weeks he will go for a muscle lengthening operating and in I head I keep singing Miley Cyrus's song:


'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose 

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb...

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