Many a time I have had friends tell me that they should stop ‘moaning’ because their ‘problems’ aren’t anywhere near as huge as mine.
Some friends struggle to show their emotions in front of me and talk to me about how they are really doing.
They have this belief that whatever they are going through, it can't compare to what I’m going through. How can that even be measured?
We all have our own personalities, characteristics and ultimately our own way of dealing with hard times and emotions.
What makes me cry may not make you cry. What obstacle may be hard for me to climb over may be a breeze for you.
You see where I am heading here?
We all handle situations very different to the person next to us. In the same respect, we all have very different things going on in our lives.
Who can say that having a son with very complex needs means I have a harder time than a friend who has a few children without any disabilities?
Surely there is no score that would determine this, as each day will be met with its own set of challenges.
In fact we are all in this together.
When I look at myself and the others in my friendship circle, I see lots of beautiful mummies wanting to do the best by their children.
I mean, I do see very obvious differences; Zachariah has disabilities and requires 24 hour care, and then some of the other children can be quite challenging with their behaviours, while some are full of never ending energy.
Yet, at the end of the day, each parent gets tired, each parent feels defeated from time to time, and each parent feels they could have done better some days.
I’m not saying that it’s not emotionally draining being a parent to a child with complex needs. There are some incredible parents amongst us who have had a great deal of obstacles to overcome, but I believe we should still make room for our friends to come to us with what is going on in their lives.
Give them a safe place to cry, as they have been that shoulder for us to cry on.
No matter how trivial they may feel it is, each challenge, each issue and every worry should be treated in its own unique way.
This blog is dedicated to my sister in law who inspires me, her children do not have disabilities or extra needs however they still require her attention, they still keep her up at night from time to time, and they still make her feel very tired.
Let’s stick together!
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