I don’t feel like I’m an overbearing or overprotective parent. 

Because Cole has so much in his life where he is dependent upon other people to support him, I’ve always tried to foster his independence in any which way I can. 

He’s also demanded it of us. He was not the kid who had any separation anxiety on his first day of preschool. He waved me off and never looked back. 

He’s still like that in terms of leaving us for school, or spending time with others.  

The strange thing is, that in the confine of our home, he can be wildly clingy. 

Sometimes my just leaving him in bed in the morning while I walk into the kitchen for coffee causes upset. 

He’s also very adept using his Tobii, an eye gaze voice output device, at school and now on this bus ride to and from school. 

He was even able to easily discover and activate iTunes after my husband installed it for him and had not yet shared that he did so with Cole. 

Cole found it the next morning on the bus and quickly opened it up to watch cooking videos. 

Yet he adamantly refuses to use Tobii to speak with us or at home.I know it takes effort and energy for him to use the device, but it takes a lot of effort and energy to accurately guess what he wants to communicate sometimes without it and often a lot frustration, sometimes anger when we don’t quickly understand what he wants or needs.

I don’t entirely understand the way his psyche operates. 

We put him on a school bus at 6:30am on his first day of high school with two complete strangers, the drive, and an aide, and he joyfully drove away with them - to a school he had only visited once, to spend the day with kids he didn’t know, teachers he didn’t know, and he was fine. 

Delighted even! 

Yet, I move around the house, where he’s safe, secure, and familiar and he gets mad or nervous or cries, not always of course, but enough to baffle me!

I don’t have an explanation and I wonder if other parents in my situation have similar experiences. 

It leaves me scratching my head in wonder…

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