Oscar’s Pre-school support worker once told me that Oscar was ‘too well looked after’.

To this day that statement still makes me smile. 

If she thought I wasn’t looking after Oscar properly then it would be a whole different story!

Deep down, I know what she means though.

I am too over protective of my son and I know this.

Knowing it though, does not make it any easier to let go.

After everything that we have been through with Oscar it is no wonder that I am protective.

Having a premature birth and not knowing if Oscar would survive.

The realisation that Oscar is not hitting milestones and then the day of the devastating diagnosis.

The day when everything changed.

Then there are the events that follow the diagnosis.

The endless appointments, physio, dietician, vision therapy and as you go along sometimes more bad news.

It is not easy to see my little boy is growing up fast.

I know that Oscar may never leave home or live independently but I do want him to have some degree of independence.

I want him to be able to experience life and not need me there.

Also, I am sure that when he is a teenager he does not want me there cramping his style!

But at the same time I am scared.

I am scared for Oscar.

You see on the news about vulnerable people being attacked, robbed or abused and you wonder what is going on in the world?

How can people be so cruel?

How can they do that to another person?

You also know that your child comes under the category of being ‘vulnerable’ and that could be your child or your family.

You hope and pray that it never will be but you also become even more protective of your child.

It is a vicious circle.

You want your child to have independence but you also want to protect them at all costs.

Oscar went on his first school trip recently and I must admit I wasn’t sure about letting him go.

Although, I trust the school with Oscar, I kept thinking what if he gets left behind somewhere?

What if this happens?

What if that happens?

What if….?

But, I knew for Oscar’s sake I had to let him go on the trip with his classmates.

And, guess what?

He had a great time and loved going on the school bus with his friends.

I on the other hand had been on edge all day and was relieved to see that he was back safely.

I think that it was a big ‘step’ forward for me though, to letting Oscar be more independent.

Until his next school trip that is...

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