Two years ago, my husband and I made the decision that I would quit my job to care for Danny full time.
It was a painfully difficult decision for me.
I had always planned on being a working mom.
However, our lives had become unsustainable.
Danny had appointments four to five times per week, numerous hospital stays, and a feeding tube surgery.
We were drained, physically and emotionally, and there was never a reprieve from the cycle of work and care for Danny.
My wonderful father and niece came to care for Danny for a week that we did not have day care, and my niece, quite literally, bounced Danny on an exercise ball for eight hours a day while I was at work.
While I was at work, I could push my anxieties away and focus on something that still felt normal.
It was mine.
It was the plan.
And he would cry.
I remember one particularly tiring week, looking up at my husband, and finally saying, “We cannot live this way. I think I have to quit my job.”
He said quietly "I am so glad to hear you say that. I was wondering when you would.”
Plenty of mothers stay home with their children, and in today’s times, it can be considered a luxury.
I certainly hold a lot of gratitude that we can do it.
However, there are no perfect choices in life, and staying home has not been a panacea.
We still have challenges, sleepless nights, and a rigorous daily schedule.
I am forever with him and so I notice everything.
I worry about everything.
But there are early mornings.
I find the quiet where I can.
I carve out minutes for myself.
No one can know what their life is supposed to look like, not really.
While this life was unanticipated, it is, and it is exactly as it should be.
Does your local park include accessible play equipment?