I'm done.

I give up.

We've been working on learning to use a fork and spoon for 3 years.

Supposedly Earth years, but I'm 98% convinced parents of kids with special needs live Saturn years.

Since Adelaide doesn't qualify for occupational therapy, we do feeding therapy at home. 

Dave and I take turns working on skills with a little girl who shows no interest in anything other than using her fist to rake food into her mouth. 

And into her highchair. 

And into her beautiful little cloth diapers.

Adelaide does love utensils. 

She loves to chew on them. 

She loves to hold them in one hand, while she shoves any available food into her mouth with her free hand. 

She loves trying to break her teeth on them. 

She loves choking herself. 

And she loves trying to give herself eye surgery. 

Jesus take the wheel.

We've tried 19 different types of spoons and forks. 

I have a graveyard of failed options at the end of our utensil drawer. 

Plastic, rubber, and metal indicators that I probably bought feeding gear from a snake oil salesman in a previous life. 

Oh, and Spoon-z, you lied to me about your magical powers. Adelaide turns you into a chew toy.

Even if we spear the food for her, Adelaide just wants to chew on the end of the fork. 

The end without food.

But, I still believe this is the year she will learn to eat with a fork! 

Why my sudden optimism? 

Adelaide is starting preschool soon. 

Two half-days. 

And I am putting all my scrambled eggs in the occupational therapist's basket. 

I believe she can do in one semester what I have failed to do in three Saturn years.

And maybe she can also teach Adelaide how to use a plate or bowl. 

Because I have a post-apocalyptic stockpile of those, too. 

Still not sure how a child with such low muscle tone can figure out how to break the seals on those "guaranteed to stick to the highchair tray for easy, mess-free eating" plates.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm off to research how to upcycle a plethora of toddler tableware. 

Maybe a colorful wind chime? 

Or a funky Medusa for the flowerbed...just replace those snakes with forks. 

I have at least 11.

More like this please...

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