I love this time of year.

It is the time of year where its full of fresh starts.

All the new baby animals, the spring cleaning and getting rid of the old things ready for the new things.

Spring isn’t just a time of year for physical changes; for me, it is also a time to emotionally and mentally cleanse.

I have held on to so many thoughts, so many feelings over this last year.

We have had so many triumphs with my daughter and son.

We have seen them do things we never thought were possible.

We have seen them grow physically and mentally in ways we had only ever dreamed of.

We have also experienced all time lows, where our world has just shattered around us, where all the progress you see just seems to disappear in the darkness.

Spring just seems to be a perfect time to spring clean my mind.

To take all the negative experiences and thoughts from the past year and to replace it with the new fresh emotions and experiences.

All the past worries, all the past tests and hospital visits, just swept away.

I want to look to spring with a fresh mind, a fresh view point.

Although last year was awful, I can not dwell on this.

I can’t be holding onto the negative feelings and experiences, as this year I will be facing even more challenges.

I can not hold new pressures alongside the past ones. 

I am not saying that I will never look back at the previous year and feel sad, but I will not dwell on the past.

I am going to sit back, turn off all electronics and just shut my eyes and breathe.

I am going to empty my thoughts and just sit in nothing.

I will allow myself to cry, to laugh, to just express all the emotions I need to.

We hold so much in as parents of disability.

I am surprised I haven’t burst with all the emotions going through my head - this is why, this year, I am going to spring clean inside myself.

I want to be ready for the triumphs and the lows this coming year will bring.

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