A common problem that parents of children with additional needs find themselves left wanting for! 

How many of you have experienced these:

- I’m desperate to be able to go to the loo without being followed or a disaster occurring downstairs!

- I just want a full night’s sleep!

- I want to drink a cup of tea that is still warm!

- We haven’t had sex for months!

A parent at their wits end that just needs a break (and these are the parents that have been able to find the time to make the decision to come for sessions).

These problems can land a parent at the limit of resources to cope.

Lack of sleep can cause anxiety.

A sexless marriage can create doubts in each other and in the relationship.

Being able to use the loo without being disturbed can give you that 5 minutes of peace that helps restore your resilience to keep on keeping on.

But what can be done about these things?

Put your thoughts into words!

One of the main difficulties is that these thoughts and feelings stay in your head – then they ruminate around and around and create other difficult feelings – Feelings breed feelings!

We start to believe that no-one else is experiencing what we are experiencing.

That our relationship is the only one that is impacted.

That everyone else’s relationships are perfect.

They’re not and social media really doesn’t help with that concept!

Doubt can then creep in, then guilt, then anxiety – That is what I mean by feelings breeding feelings.

This in turn impacts on how we respond or react to others, which in turn impacts on how we feel about ourselves.

By talking about what you are experiencing either with a friend, your partner or a professional it can help put things into a more manageable perspective.

If you haven’t had a full night’s sleep for what feels like forever then no wonder there’s little or no sex at the moment.

Talk about it with your partner if possible, if not find a friend that you trust, call a helpline if you wish to remain anonymous or might feel awkward or embarrassed.

If you are constantly on the go then look for those five or 10 minutes when you can find some you time – look at what happens in a typical day and see where changes can be made.

Those 5 minutes at a time can make all the difference and knowing that you deserve them can be a life changer.

Things that you can do to get your few minutes of ‘me time’:

- Ask a neighbour/family friend to watch the children whilst you have a cuppa in the garden/bedroom wherever you won’t be disturbed

- Journaling/blogging can be very therapeutic

- Ask for help – It is OK to need help from others and to trust them to do OK

- Join/start a support group

Tell yourself I deserve this – You might be surprised to know that many people feel they don’t!

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