I will not be sad today.
When I look at my beautiful child sleeping so peacefully I don’t see anyone other than a perfect human being, a miracle.
I will not be sad about his disabilities but will be thrilled by his achievements.
I will not be sad today, when friends tell me about their children and what they’re doing. Because when they ask about my boy I will tell them with immense love and pride in my voice just how much my superstar has overcome and how incredible he really is.
I will not be sad today when a friend and colleague shares his excitement at the impending birth of his first child; I can see in his eyes the wonder and anticipation that he is feeling waiting for this little person to arrive. And I will share with him the joy I felt at my boys birth, and I counted his tiny fingers and toes and just marvelled at the miracle of life starting from just two cells, mere months before.
The seizures and other problems never take that joy away, they add emotions to the mix that I had never imagined could be some powerful – the maternal need to protect my child at whatever cost, the strength of the fear when a seizure hits and doesn’t want to stop, and the overwhelming relief when it finally does. I will share with that friend the knowledge that having a child changes your life for ever but it is changed in a remarkable and wonderful way – disabilities don’t matter, the child does.
I will not be sad today as I walk into work and smell the wonderful freshness in the air that comes after the rain, safe in the knowledge that my son also revels in the beauty of nature and in the simple joy of being alive. While sitting in his wheelchair he loves nothing more than being pushed (at speed!) along the paths of the nature reserve behind where we live, squealing with delight as we hurtle past the bees, butterflies, dragonflies and geese.
And I will not be sad today when I go home and see my boy… why on Earth would I be?! As I walk in I am greeted with a huge smile on his gorgeous little face, my perfect boy who is yet to master control of his body enough to allow him to walk over to me for a cuddle doesn’t need to walk or talk to let me know how happy he is that I’m home.
And that is why today I will be the happiest Mother alive.
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