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There are days when I feel I can function pretty normally… and then there are days like today, when all I want to do is allow my thoughts to go Splat across the page, even if it is just mindless ramblings, anything just to get them out of my head.
Today is one of those days.
In 2 days we will be off to Alder Hey hospital where Sam will have his much-anticipated VNS surgery.
We have to book in on the Monday around 2pm, to give time for pre-op tests etc, then surgery is booked in for Tuesday.
I’m praying he’s one of the first on the list because God only knows we both hate waiting.
Only one parent can stay with him overnight, and once again his wonderful Dad has volunteered (in all fairness they pretty much have to drag me off the ward when it's time to go, its tears me in two leaving them every single time).
It's not entirely altruistic however, if I stay overnight at the hospital then Daddy has to negotiate the joy that is Liverpools one-way traffic system, alone, at night.
He only recently passed his driving test, so I can understand the reluctance here, believe me.
So, this weekend will be busy.
Sam’s fed a blended diet in addition to his formula milk, so we’ll be getting his meals planned and prepped; we expect to only be in hospital with him for 3 days, however we’ll be staying the rest of the week at my Mums, as she only lives 40 minutes from the hospital, so we need to pack a weeks-worth of continence and feeding supplies.
Then there’s sorting out OUR food while we’re on the ward – I wonder if most people have ever considered how much it costs families when they have to stay in hospital with a sick child?!
There’s the cost of parking, petrol, food and drink… only the patients get fed on the ward, the carers have to fend for themselves.
The food offerings are usually pretty good in fairness, Costa is available for coffees etc., there’s a WHSmith and a cafeteria there too.
But it all adds up. So, this weekend I intend to be cooking up a number of meals that can easily be reheated in the parents microwave, in a bid to save some cash.
That and it’ll give me something to take my mind off my nerves. After all, we’ve waited many years for this to finally happen, it’s the third date for surgery as the first two were cancelled for various reasons, and my nerves are starting to build the closer we get to surgery-day.
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