The special needs parenting world is in search of a new "What If" fairy. 

Applicant should be tenacious, willing to stop at nothing. 

We need you to relentlessly dust the shoulders, tickle the ears, and generally cause major annoyance around the airspace of special needs parents. 

While you have cute wings like the tooth fairy, you need to have a bite like a bear. 

You aren't leaving shiny coins under silky pillows for baby teeth. 

You are responsible for keeping parents up at night by creating tsunamis of guilt, doubt,  and fear. 

You will work overtime to form delicate questions in the heads of over-worked parents:

What if things had turned out differently? 

What if we hadn't vaccinated? 

What if I had taken more vitamins while pregnant? 

What if I had married someone with a different genetic make-up? 

What if we had decided that we'd be ok not having kids?

Our job is to take parents down and keep them down, just for the fun of it. 

There's no other point.

Our competitors are moving in on our territory. 

People are finding new outlets and sources of inspiration, connection, and hope every day. 

If parents were to ever stop waking up with fantasies about how things could have been -- and instead find gratitude and joy in the way things are -- we're out of business. 

We plant impossible truths: things could have been different for people. 

The only truth is the moment we're living in, right now. 

But they don't need to know that. 

Bonuses offered for a job well done and parents sufficiently tortured. 

Let's cause a little chaos, shall we?

REQUIREMENTS:

- This position is not entry-level. You must have several years of experience causing strife and self-doubt.

- Silvery wings and sparkly fairy dust -- we want you looking innocent.

Ability to travel 100% of the time. You must follow our targets and strike when they least expect it -- the grocery store, swimming lessons, a night out with the girls.

Ability to work holidays and birthdays, as these are a particularly abundant season of business for us.

Preparedness to consistently highlight someone's inadequacies and limitations.

HTML skills are a plus.


We are a close-knit team. 

Serious inquiries only, please.  

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