It was a Friday morning and I was lying in a hospital bed watching the clock moving slowly. My C-section had been scheduled for weeks and pregnancy had went amazingly well despite being classed as ‘high risk’.
It was now time for me to meet my two new babies.
What struck me most about the theatre that day was not the smell, the table of medical tools or even the strange sensation of having hands inside your womb moving around: no the thing that struck me most was the fact I was surrounded.
I had staff looking out for me checking my pain levels, my hormone levels and monitoring my bleeding.
There were midwifes, a paediatrician, nurses, and even students in the room all making sure both my babies were healthy and delivered safely.
Nine years on and the story is still incredibly similar except instead of midwives and doctors my children are now surrounded by therapists, support staff, respite staff, social work, teachers, and autism specialists.
It took a team to bring my children into this world and it is taking a team to continue to help them daily.
Sometimes I struggle with being surrounded by so many others who have their own opinions and ways of doing things.
I often feel judged and pressured to do things I am not comfortable with because someone surrounding me is suggesting it. It can feel claustrophobic at times and depressing, like living in a goldfish bowl.
Isaac will only sit in a chair if he is covered by cuddly toys and plastic figures and books. His bed is full of books, toys and plushes and he will lie on top of them to sleep in preference to moving them.
From just 2 years old when he started nursery he has always had a lot of adults around him too.
The irony is that although he has never been in class of children more than 6 he is still surrounded with adults as he needs them to see to all of his personal care needs.
He has grown up having his every move watched by adults. He needs adults to communicate as he cannot vocalise for himself.
He is often surrounded by technology too as he loves nothing more than to have two iPads on simultaneously on different apps.
He loves crowds and noise and busy places like church. He is happy being the centre of attention or in a pool surrounded by water.
I still struggle with always being surrounded at times. I am grateful for the support but it can be overwhelming having so many people involved too.
Adults may surround my children with support but my children in turn surround them in beauty and love.
I can never have too much of being surrounded by that.
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