Boy how my priorities have shifted since a certain little girl entered my life.
I remember life without Brielle. I had three healthy, typically-developing girls, ages 6 and under.
I didn’t have much knowledge of special needs or any first hand experiences.
I had no idea what daily life with special needs was like.
And as you know, it is not easy.
I feel like I am always juggling a multitude of things.
Sometimes just trying to get through another day without feeling defeated and overcome.
I am trying to be supermom.
And I am miserably failing.
I want to tell them how I really feel. How many ways I’ve fallen short of the mark today.
But it’s hard to open up and let people know what I am really feeling, what I’m struggling with, what I wish I could get off my chest.
It’s hard for me to be vulnerable.
How the priority of the day is no longer “I must have a perfectly clean and tidy house, our food prepared, the errands done” but more like “I must make it to the physiotherapy session on time today, and allow her enough time to digest her tube feed before we go so she doesn’t vomit in the car.”
My priorities in life have become less self-centric and more centered around my children and spouse.
And especially around the youngest member of our family who has many additional needs.
The rest of us have learned to be flexible and work around her needs and schedule. We have to.
We have a very complex and unique little person to consider and nurture. We want the absolute best for her.
I’d say raising a daughter with special needs has taught me how some things are far less important than I used to think.
After all, being alive, enjoying life and having meaningful relationships is so much more valuable than possessions, money, job status, a tidy house, and schedules jam-packed with exciting activities.
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