I’m preaching to choir, I’m sure.

But maybe some of you need to hear this and some just need a reminder.

All of our lives we’ve been taught to tread carefully through life and be polite when interacting with others.

Play nice and say please. 

Well, chances are you’re now reading this because you have found yourself by no grand plan of your own, more than likely, as the parent of a special needs child (that is not to say there are not the brave and courageous among us who have adopted children with special needs).

So, when it comes to your child, toss all of that out the window. 

After six trips to the doctor’s office to no real benefit and being put on hold for the tenth time today to get a prescription filled, the layer of protection the world around you typically receives is gone. 

Momma or Daddy bear comes on out.

I’m here to tell you it’s ok. 

I’m not saying you should blast the first person that picks up the phone after the 45min holding time; chances are you still need their help. 

I’m just saying that if every now again if someone rightly catches the blunt end of your personality, you don’t have to apologize.

Hear me out. 

We are not a special breed of humans as the parents of special needs children, we just happen to live a life that requires us to step up to the occasion on a daily basis. 

We should not go around carte blanche letting our frustrations out on the innocent.

However, from time to time, it is more than appropriate to tell someone what’s on our mind. 

Sometimes it’s a family member/friend who seems to forget that just because your 7,8, 9 or 13 year old child cannot walk/talk or communicate in typical fashion that they should not talk to them like they are a baby, “OOooo how’s my little fella… goo, gaa…,” you get the point, the pain is real, you’ve been here or will be. 

Well, you have to let them know that this is not an acceptable interaction. 

You are your child’s voice when they don’t have one.

We often semi-joke that one day when our son is able to clearly communicate in one way or another, everybody better put on their big boy/girl pants, because it’s about to get real, real honest. 

Watch out world, he’s got years of thoughts flying around in there that will one day be unleashed and you might get your feelings hurt. 

I’m just saying.

Don’t feel guilty about it, and don’t think you were wrong. 

You know your child and the life you desire for them to be able to live. 

You have an expectation for those people that come into contact with your child and it is just fine if you hold them to it. 

Your child might not be able to tell someone to stop because they’re being bothered.

Your child might not be able to express to the fourth doctor today, that they’re exhausted and it’s really time to go. 

But you read your child’s expression and demeanor like a book. 

That’s why we get paid the big money. 

Pack it up doc, we’re done here, your notes will read like my thoughts anyhow.

The first neurologist we had for our son gave us a most valuable piece of advice. 

It applies somewhat specifically, but we should all remember its wisdom, he told us that if it feels like all the therapy, doctors, etc are infringing on your being a family and it is medically reasonable, take a break. 

I know what you are thinking...a doctor told you that? No…can’t be

Sure did and I think he’s right. 

So when it’s possible and it just seems like too much and your child has been talked to more and about by someone other than you, skip the next birthday party, family gathering, therapy session, or other outing and just be together. 

No apology needed. 

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