New Year’s resolutions used to be weight loss, less junk food, and other personal health wishes.
Since having Oliver, they are now all about him and what I can do or change to make his year the best one yet.
There isn't a lot I can change about his diagnosis of spina bifida, but there is a lot I can change about how we live with it and not let it affect us.
One of the first resolutions I chose to make this year for us, was living each day in itself. Not worrying about the billions of upcoming appointments or surgeries we have, but enjoying ourselves and one another in that moment.
When we received Oliver's diagnosis we were told right away of what the future would entail with therapies, doctor's and so on.
It was always the one thing that everyone could “predict” so to speak, but no one ever had any advice for how I was supposed to live in the present moment.
Of course this all changed once Oliver was born.
It was so much easier to have him in my arms and not worry about the upcoming events.
To see him there in the flesh and block out the background noise of hospital equipment and doctor's telling me this and that.
Now that we are 20 months into life together, it seems to have shifted back into trying to foresee the future. Sleep studies, renal ultrasounds, MRI's..... all to make sure nothing is changing for his future health.
We go in one day with no surgery scheduled on our calendars and end the day with two surgeries scheduled for the new year.
It is exhausting and frustrating to say the least. But this is why we resolute to ignoring all the countdowns and instead cherishing each second we have left in that week, day, hour.
The second and last resolution we have chosen to make this new year is to not push for certain milestones.
Every time that Oliver has hit one milestone we were told he would probably never reach, it was when we weren't pushing for it or hoping it would happen.
Now don't get me wrong, deep down we all hope that he would crawl, pull to stand and even walk...but the difference comes in how we push for it.
Before, we would worry about it during therapy and try buying the best equipment to help him kick start the activities.
With the new year coming up, we started a little early, and decided that whether he did it or not, we would always be proud of him for trying.
Believe it or not, one day while we were all playing on the ground, I placed an M&M a little distance away from Oliver and he got on all fours (even with his casted leg) and crawled right to it!!
No steps, therapeutic balls, or abdomen support was needed to help this little guy get to that yummy piece of candy.
He did it when he was ready!
So the bottom line of all our resolutions is to stop rushing things into the future! There will always be the upcoming days to worry about, but we can never get the present ones back.
So I ask you, what were your New Year's resolutions and are you still sticking to them one month in?
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