Milestones... we all wait and wait for them to come and then we celebrate the tiniest development or achievement as if it's the biggest thing in the world.
The day he left hospital.
First smiles, first laugh, first teeth, first holiday.
The first time he slept through the night... that one was a long time coming!
The first time he ate a whole meal without throwing up.
His first day at school and first day on the school bus.
One I was hoping was a long way off in the future.
I knew it was coming but was hoping we weren't there quite yet.
William is almost 9 now, he weighs about 22kg and while his weight is still manageable, he is tall and awkward to manage. He doesn't support his own weight and his limbs are all over the place!
Physically, I can lift him, I am strong enough, but every muscle in my body works overtime when I do and last year I injured myself.
This year I have to face the reality that 2018 is likely to be the year when things will need to change.
And it's making me sad. Sad at the cuddles I'll miss out on, because lifting and carrying him really is just another way to get a sneaky hug!
I'm sad that my boy might wonder why I've stopped. Will he think I don't love him as much anymore?
21st January is national hug day, and it’ll be a mix of emotions for me.
But really, it’s just another excuse to scoop my boy up and give him a big cuddle to make up for all the missed ones in the future.
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