I have lost count of how many times I have been asked ‘Are you going to have another one?’

Firstly, I want to tell these people to mind their own business but I am far too polite. 


It is peoples reactions that amuse me most when I say a simple but firm ‘No.’ 

‘Why not?’ they say, with genuine shock on their faces. 

Well, why should I? 

I didn’t realise there was some kind of law that said I had to have more than one child. 

When me and Neal decided we would like to become parents we had already discussed that we would only like one child. 

There were many different reasons for this. 

Due to a me having a medical condition we knew that our dream of becoming parents may not even happen, but we were lucky. 

When I went into labour three months early, we were so scared, as we knew the child we had longed for may not survive. 

It was an extremely difficult time and it is still hard to think of it today. 

This is partly another reason why I don’t want to have another child. 

The trauma of that day is still very much with me. 

The doctors could not give a reason as to why Oscar was born so prematurely but did warn me that if I ever had another child the same thing could happen. 

When I look back I do not know how we got through the time Oscar was in hospital, you just do. 

But, although things may be different second time round they may not and that is a chance I am not willing to take. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mum but I am happy with having one child. 

Although, I know my biological clock is ticking, I still do not want to have another!

I want to be able to devote all my time and attention to Oscar. 

I feel that I cannot personally do this if we have another child and I fear that another child will not get the attention they deserve as Oscar has such complex needs. 

I know that Oscar may benefit from having a sibling but with how he sometimes reacts to other children it is hard to tell. 

He also likes to be centre of attention so having another child may bring out the green-eyed monster in him. 

There are obviously lots of people out here who have gone on to have other children and you have nothing but my respect and admiration. 

If you want to have another child go for it I say. 

But, if not, do not let peoples negative attitudes get to you. It is a very personal choice and a very big decision. 

Quite frankly, it isn’t anybody else’s business. 

Sometimes I feel people think that I should have another baby for the simple fact that Oscar is disabled. 

That second time round it will be different for us and we will have a ‘normal’ child. 

But, I already have a perfect child, thank you very much and I am more than happy with just having Oscar.

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