The unavoidable question that is asked, sometimes even months after you just gave birth!
I don't think it has preference either, being if you have a child with a disability or not.
I just think that the question has a lot more pause between being asked and giving an answer to it.
I took a shallow breath before answering, not just frightened of the increased risk I had for another child to have spina bifida, but the thought of another human being to care for when I am just managing with one little guy.
My chances of having another child with spina bifida is increased by about three percent.
Of course, I had given no answer to them.
How could I when I was unsure.
It wasn't as easy as deciding whether or not we could afford another child's college education, or whether or not we could afford to upgrade to a four bedroom house.
I suffered from an incompetent cervix during pregnancy, forcing me on bed rest at 24 weeks.
The emotional toll from receiving Oliver's diagnosis was tremendous.
Could I do it again?
But then I realized how much I love Oliver, and how his diagnosis was no worry of my mind anymore.
Sure it was scary in the beginning, we lived everyday with the unknown outcome of his health.
Then came April 11, 2014.
He had ten beautiful little fingers and toes, a head full of hair, the longest eye lashes I had ever seen, and even the open lesion on his back was beautiful.
Here we are now, a year later, and his scars are just stories for him to tell one day.
Stories that will tell all of how much he went through, at such a young age.
I knew my answer then and there.
I actually waited for people to soon ask me again if Aaron and I would have another child.
"YES!! Of course", I would say.
I could not have asked for a better child when Oliver was born, and why wouldn't we want a match to that.
We are enjoying Aaden (Oliver's amazing big step-brother) and Oliver, so of course we don't plan on having a baby anytime soon.
And yes, I am sure when that day comes to find out his gender and we get our second trimester screening, I will have that fear.
We know that spina bifida has never described Oliver, other than in his medical records, and that Oliver has overcome all that spina bifida has put in his way.
We are such adaptable creatures, that we just learn a new way to live life.
We know that Oliver is quiet, he loves laughing, hates tummy time, and loves his apples.
Are you a working special needs parent?