Our world was changing every day, but the laundry was never any different.

We ran out of all our gifted detergent when I was pregnant with our third child and caring for Adelaide, who was getting further and further behind. 

Mentally, I couldn't make that detergent. 

We couldn't even afford store-bought as we were trying to catch up with Adelaide's skyrocketing medical bills, but I couldn't do one more thing. 
 

I couldn't do it. 

Our genetics tests all came back inconclusive. 

Doctors were saying she may never walk, talk, or learn to read. 

I was in pajamas for days and days, but everyone else was still wearing clothes. 
 

The laundry needed me, but I couldn't make the detergent.

I asked friends for coupons, raided the change jar, and bought detergent. 

It felt normal. 

In a season of our life when we were barely above water, I did something typical. 
 

Something easy. 

I spent money. 

And then I read a book. 

I used my energy to invest in some downtime. 
 

It was worth every single nickel I used in that Express Lane as people glared at me in my haggard yoga pants. 

I would've worn jeans, but they were all dirty.

Since finding out about Adelaide's polymicrogyria, there are many things I have quit. 

I quit making yogurt, taking online surveys for money, making greeting cards, selling at consignment sales, making granola, and selling on ebay. 
 

Quit. 

Just call me a quitter.

It seems counterintuitive to quit doing the things that save or make money, but I justify it by admitting that I can't do it all. 

Make it all. 

Earn it all. 

And I think it's important for all parents of littles with special needs to make a list of things they will quit. 
 

More importantly, make a list of the things they will add. 

I added bar soap that is off-limits to everyone else in the house. 

It's the little things that keep me going. 

Little things that smell like citrus and jasmine and farmer's markets. 

 

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