Jade has been at home with me since she came out of the NICU. 

She was so small.

She weighed 2.05kg.

She looked like a doll.

A very small doll.

I didn’t want to send her to preschool as I was, you might say, very protective over her. 

At one-year-old, we got her CP diagnosis. 

So I took her to the physio, speech therapist and all of the appointments.

I think that made me more protective over her. 

She has never slept over at either of her grandparent’s houses. 

Or her cousins.

I’m not sure they can handle her for the whole night. 

She wakes up so many times. 

She might have night terrors but we are looking into that.

Sending a special needs child to school is not like a typical child. 

There is a hell of a lot of paperwork involved and they have to do an assessment with the physio. 

Then once all that is done they assess everything and then you go onto a waiting list. 

Your place depends on the severity of the CP of your child. 

And their mobility.

When that is all done, I have to start getting used to the idea of someone else looking after her. 

Making sure she does not choke on anything. 

Make sure she her nappy is clean. 

Make sure nothing is hurting her as she gets stuck on things if she rolls over. 

Or when she is playing with something. 

How do you put your trust in a stranger? 

But then they know how to deal with her, they are trained to look after kids like her. 

She is very attached to me so I don’t know how she is going to adjust to someone new.

I think sometimes as parents we have to let go a bit just to let them see the world for themselves. 

Let’s just hope nothing bad happens cause then there will be big trouble.

Not sure if I will then ever trust her with some else again.

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