1. I am lonely
I miss my friends.
I may look like super mum but I am struggling to hold it all together.
I wish I had more time with my friends and to nurture those friendships.
Sometimes I just don’t have the time or energy to keep in touch like I should.
I don’t know enough about what’s going on in my friends’ lives because I haven’t had time to ask.
I spend all week being doctor, nurse, PA, therapist, taxi, and holding down a paid job.
At the weekends I am wife and mum.
I need time with my baby and husband.
This leaves not a lot left for my dear friends, who also have lives, problems of their own, and stories to share.
This makes me really sad.
I worry that I am becoming a non-person.
I don’t have the time to develop my own interests and hobbies or get to the gym.
2. I miss my husband
We spend so much time talking about our child’s problems and appointments, we often forget to talk to each other about each other.
I worry about breaking our marriage.
I worry that I have become so used to him just being there through everything, that one day I will wake up and he might not want to be there any longer.
I worry that the origins of our love will fall so far into the shadows that they might become unreachable.
We have redefined the word ‘romance’ in our own special way, a million miles from our pre-family days.
A date night involves so many obstacles and premeditated criteria that we more often just opt for a quiet night at home.
He is my best friend and a hero to me and my child but I don’t tell him enough.
3. Getting out is difficult!
Trips out of the house can be a mission impossible.
Getting the timing right for feeding, sleeping, moods, is nothing unfamiliar to any mum, but multiply that by 10,and unlike other families, things are not getting easier.
I detest the harmless looks and comments of people when they see my unsettled and non-ambulant child and it makes me feel like a failure.
I dread the frequent moments when I cannot get my child to feed in public, or when he whimpers all the way round the supermarket.
I am screaming inside.
When out with friends and my child is having an ‘off day’, I feel like a social zombie.
I often feel trapped and wish I could live in a bubble indoors.
4. I am not easily offended!
I do not need to be treated like a fragile flower.
Ask me all those questions that you daren’t.
I am grateful to talk about it!
Life so far has made me pretty robust so it takes a lot to upset me.
Conversely I am able to separate myself from my woes for an indulgent adult conversation every now and then.
I know you care without asking ‘how are things’ all the time.
5. I am not jealous
I cherish my family and friends’ children with absolutely no envy or bitterness.
I embrace their milestones and achievements, and celebrate them along with you.
I want to hear about their gold stars, ballet performances, first words, first steps, first boyfriends.
I want you to confide in me when things aren’t right.
You may worry that a chipped tooth or a bust-up at playschool are trivial problems that you have no right to burden me with, but a problem is a problem and I want you to share them with me.
I want to be there for you.
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