It’s Christmas week babe,

In our wild house,

The eldest said to me, won’t eat another thing,

And then he threw a dance,

The same ol’ meltdown tune,

I turned my face away,

And dreamed about school.


Well I ain’t the lucky one,

Couldn’t get the number one,

I've got a headache,

‘Cos Smyths was like a zoo,

So happy Christmas

I should’ve shopped online,

I can see a calmer time,

When all my shopping’s done.


They’ve got lists long as arms,

They think mother spins gold,

But the credit cards declined it’s too late and too cold,

When they first made their lists,

On a cold winters day,

They promised me

No changes were waiting for me.


They are handsome

Sometimes petty,

Kings of Lego city,

When mama finished cleaning

They dirtied some more,

Crosby was ah’ dreaming,

While this mammy was singing

She kissed their wee foreheads

Then drank through the night.


The boys who have ADHD tire,

While waiting, for the Sleigh

And this mammy’s crying out

For Christmas Day


Ye are pups

Ye are scuts

Ye’re full up on junk

Playing there with old toys, hidin’ shit in the trunk,

Ye rugrats, ye maggots

Can’t ye see mums run ragged

Happy Christmas me arse

I pray God my wine lasts


You boys are driving us mad

But we love ye, now go and play

And the bells are ringing out

For Christmas Day.


I could have been an aunt,

Well so could anyone,

Those boys came outta me,

I’ve scars to prove it.

Ah god bless them babe,

Can’t believe their our very own,

Cost us a fortune but

I’ve build my dreams around them


You boys are energetic and fun,

We love ye, in every way

And you lads are making this

An Awesome Day.

Things you might like

Check out the Splashy

The portable, lightweight and supportive seat that works for bathing or messy games wherever you go.

Find out more
Survey icon

Does your child have an autism diagnosis?

Other articles you might enjoy...

Special Needs

Christmas with Autism: But I don’t like

There is not one part of the spectrum that is easier or harder than the other.

Special Needs

A Letter to Christmas from Special Needs Mum

Dear Christmas, You have snuck up on me, yet again! You get earlier and earlier every…

Special Needs

Sensory Issues Vs Christmas Tree

Well it’s December and so my husband and I knew we had another difficult decision…

Survey icon

Public Opinion…

Do you use a voice-activated speaker such as Amazon Echo or Google Home?