A humorous look in the mind of a special needs mum when a professional is coming for a home visit.

The night before

Ah...tomorrow. Let's see what we have to face.

What?? Seriously? How did I forget about that? Meeting...ok...I can do this...where is it again...yikes! Seriously?

In MY house! That can't be right. Let's check again! No...this cannot be happening! 

It's tomorrow woman! Chill. It'll be fine.

It's not like your living room looks like an earthquake just happened in the middle of toys r us or anything! Oops...I think it does actually.

It's late. I'll worry about that visit in the morning. The cleaning, the notes...it can wait. Yawn!

Through the night

Wait let's think. Who is that person again? Ah yes I remember now! What is it they do, let me remember, ah yes got it now.

Brain go to sleep!

So they are coming at ten. Cool. Plenty time. Kids up, dressed, breakfast, school run. Yip, it'll all be fine.

Stop brain! Go to sleep.

Tuesday tomorrow. Yes definitely the right date then. Yes I remember them phoning now two weeks ago and putting it in the diary. I ought to have remembered.

Seemed fine at the time. But then Johnny was sick last week. That'll be why I forgot. Actually maybe I should check on Johnny. Yes think I will do that.

Brain please be quiet and let me sleep! 

Actually now I'm up I may as well put the washing machine on. Ah, I forgot to wash that mug. May as well do that now. Don't want professionals seeing dirty mugs now do we.

Ah...look at the time. 1:45am! I better try sleeping. Don't want to have bags under my eyes when they arrive tomorrow! Whatever would they think then?

Morning.

6 Am. What? That time already! Kids wake up! Don't you know someone is coming to the house today!!

Get up, make your bed and make sure you don't miss the loo when you pee boys! Did you hear me now...someone's coming to see us! Help!

No...don't put yesterday's' school shirt on son! Someone's coming to the house don't you know.

You need to look smart at school today! Straighten your tie. Actually let's dig out your blazer!

Someone is coming to talk to me today and they might want to know you have your blazer on. I am certain that will be on their agenda. 

No way can you have toast this morning kids! Seriously it will make the house smell of warm bread. We can't have that you know! 

Do you have to make your packed lunch today? Have you forgotten someone is coming at ten today!

I can't have my kitchen worktop looking like we use it now! Pft! Bleach it after you finish ok! 

Bute kids! Have a nice day! I know it is early! You'll be fine. Walk slow! There's someone coming in two hours and I need to wash my hair and get make up on you know. Be good!

Right, coffee, I need coffee. 

No! No time for that. Hoover out, duster out, toys picked up. Air freshener...where is that thing now! I can smell children...distinct smell of kids here and can't be having that.

Flowers...maybe I should go get some fresh flowers...have I got time? 

Wipes? Where did I put them? Got to scrub this couch for all it's worth. Someone is going to sit on that and it has to be spotless.

Windowsill polished. Curtains hoovered (wow that made more dust! Help!). Front outside steps...maybe I ought to brush those? 

Sip of coffee. Luke warm...yuk.

Load dishwasher. Turn off washing machine. Can't have them hearing that. Whatever might they think of us?

Fluff the cushions, mop the hall, sip of cold coffee. Rearrange the books on the shelf. Wash down the internal doors, scrub the banister in the stairs, match the shoes in the entrance hall. 

I need a pee.

Aghhhhh the bathroom! I forgot about the bathroom!

Fresh towels! Scrub the toilet, clean the bath...mop the floor, spray something, anything! Have I got time to wash windows do you reckon? 

Ring ring. Do I answer that? Maybe it's the schools? What if it is them ringing to say they are not coming? 

'Hi,'

'Great to hear from you too Auntie Jeanie! Yes long time I know but emmm...yes so sorry to hear about that.., emmm...no never too busy for you auntie...but...sorry someone at my door. Need to go!'

Knock knock!

'Hi, do come in! So sorry about the mess! I thought it best you just see how it always is you know! Do you want a tea or coffee...?

(Please don't say yes!! It's Aldi's own and I think the kids used all the milk for breakfast.)

Breathe...woman...breathe.

Have a seat. No, wasn't worried about you coming at all. 

Act normal. For goodness sake act normal! 

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